The 4th of July celebration used to be something I looked forward to the moment that school let out for summer. It meant a trip to my uncle’s house in East Setauket, which had about 20 acres of woods around it, where a huge BBQ “event” would take place. There was always some kind of surprise that made it unique each year. Unbridled fun, friends, family, & fireworks! What kid could ask for more? The memories from those days will be with me until my dying day and they will always bring warmth to my heart and smile to my lips.
Then life happened; I grew up. Married at 23, divorced at 43, and the 4th of July celebrations in the early years were smaller, but the fun was still there. In upstate NY I didn’t have any fireworks connections, so that was different. Later, after my son was born and we moved to Texas, the celebrations began to grow again. Eventually to include about 20 friends and their kids and I would put on a big fireworks show. As our kids got older, they got to help more with the show and even get hands-on with some of the fireworks. Roman Candle fights became a “thing.” No major injuries ever occurred, and we never had any brush fires because of our aerial displays. A great time was had by all. As time went on, there were years where I just couldn’t do for one reason or another and whenever I started them up again, it seemed fewer and fewer people could make it. Life gets complicated as kids get older. It was then that I began to notice that no one else ever seemed to have a get together that I got invited to. Since I did it for my kids and their friends, it did not have any effect on the celebrations themselves. The show went on!
Until it didn’t anymore. For the last 3 years, I have not had the drive to do a big production like I used to. I am even less motivated because is seems that most of my local friends have other things to do. I do not say that with any animosity since I too, have had other things to do that do not seem to involve them as much as in the past. Is this how we age? We drift apart from many friends except for those most dear that we cling desperately to. I was uncle-ish to some of their kids and as they hit their mid to late teen years not all, but most, no longer had a real use/need for me. I knew this day would come; I just did not think it would hit me as hard as it has. It impacts more than this one holiday, and I think that is what bothers me most.
Maybe the kids have always been the common thread that held us together and as they grew up, that thread began to unravel. It makes it hard to celebrate a holiday that I always looked at as forward-looking when the best-of-times for this holiday seem to be in the past.
I am sure the good Lord has more for me to do now that this chapter is closing. He has always been the Good Shephard and has always guided me to where I am needed and I expect nothing less this time.
God Bless You All In These Uncertain Times 🙏